Hey, wanna see more sweetness in the world? Help me bring it!

Update:  The Quantum Creativity Radio Show is one of my online favorites.  Co-hosts Cezarina Trone and Santari Green interviewed me on June 28th, 2011 to discuss THE BULLY BOOK.  It’s thirty minutes, and was loads of fun. LISTEN HERE. 

Hay House is one of the world’s largest publishers of New Thought and Self-Help material.  Earlier this year I went on a cruise with them, essentially, so I could gain entrance into their publishing contest.  The deadline, for which, is June 28th — by which time I’ll have submitted my proposal to Reid Tracy and Cheryl Richardson.  The book I am proposing is:

A Peace Manual to Move Human Hearts
From A Culture of Cruelty

to an Era of Empathy

The premise is simple.  And surprising.

What do you think of when you hear the word ‘bully’?  Probably a long list of bad, unfavorable adjectives, right?  Things like:  antagonizer, browbeater, coercer, intimidator, oppressor, persecutor, tormenter.

A bully is a person who hurts, persecutes, or intimidates weaker people.

Regardless of your age or station in life, I’m pretty sure you know someone like this.  Maybe even a lot of someones.  Which shouldn’t be surprising as our current culture practically prepares you to be a cruel competitor very capable of taunting and general meanness.  The widely held belief is that cruelty is normal — just a part of our human nature.  Aren’t you tired of this lame cop-out?  I sure am.

Here’s my twist.  Ready?  To be twisted?

The word ‘bully’ originally meant “sweetheart.”  Derived from “lover, brother.”  But the word, like the culture, deteriorated.  Dropping to “harasser of the weak” in just a few centuries.
So what I’m talking about is restoring and reviving the real meaning of that word — bully.  And as we do, we will restore and revive the real meaning of ourselves.  We’ll put to sleep the trivial excuses we’ve used to protect our lower behaviors. As we restore that word, we will fully awaken and activate all that we are capable of.  Which is love — the zenith human achievement.  And in which, we are doing rather poorly (from a collective standpoint).  But I really believe this book can help us find our way back to our sweet, original essence.  If you are…
  • …a visionary who fantasizes about a kinder, gentler society;
  • …a student who is enduring bullying at school;
  • …an employee who is enduring bullying at work;
  • …a lover who is enduring bullying in your relationship;
  • …a citizen who is enduring bullying by their government;
  • …a parent or educator concerned that your child or students are involved with bullying; or
  • …a bystander who accidentally grew tolerant of abuse in any form, but now wants to change that.

then this book is for you. I’m writing it as a provocative conversation-starter that asks, “What would it look like if we stopped expecting cruelty from ourselves and others?”  “What if we allowed the evolution of our soul, that wants to show us how to feel safe at all times without the need for violence?”  “What if we became more verbal and visible about our ideals, rather than passive and quiet?”

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil,
but because of those who look on and do nothing.” (Albert Einstein)

Please don’t lurk and leave.  Please do something:

  1. Please share this post; and
  2. Leave a comment below, letting Hay House know why you think the world is ready for this book and message.  Thank you for your help!

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41 Responses to “Hey, wanna see more sweetness in the world? Help me bring it!”

  1. Brett Says:

    Sounds like a worthy book. Well done, and good luck.

  2. Marina Says:

    Wow this is a truly unique idea! I’m very curious about the content of this book. I can’t wait to read it!

    • Erika Harris Says:

      Thank you, Marina! :-) I am so energized by creating this book’s content, and am being inspired word-by-word. Very often I’m even surprised by what shows up — in research, interviews and meditation. This book has a life of its own!

      It has already shown me that cruelty cannot flourish in the presence of empathy. And that is why the teaching and demonstrating and expectation of empathy is so essential right now.

  3. juanita mcdonnell Says:

    I am a baby boomer who has lived by the tenet of do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I always believed that people were essentially good. In the past few years I have been rudely dismissed and belittled for reasons which were nothing to do with me and the people who treated me this way are seemingly untouched by their behaviour while I feel I cannot trust anymore. Nevertheless I will not remain in this state because I am not alone in relation to this kind of bullying. What is the fear that drives people who are mean spirited to justify themselves? Yours is a timely and much needed exploration.and ethos.

    • Erika Harris Says:

      Hi Juanita. I’m sorry to hear of the rudeness, dismissiveness and belittling that you’ve experienced. Bravo to you for determining not to let it keep you distrustful. I know it’s hard to keep your heart open after it’s been badly hurt. Most over 30 (probably even younger) have already accumulated a list of reasons why it might be safer to shut-down or armor-up. I’m writing the counter-list — the reasons it’s essential to retain our sweet tenderness, even when the mainstream doesn’t yet reflect those traits. They can source from you. And me. And the many others who have this heart-knowing.

      THANK YOU for this awesome question: “What is the fear that drives people who are mean spirited to justify themselves?” I’ve been referring to this as “dark curiosity,” which seems to sprout in childhood… when a young mind wonders, and the wondering descends into some form of torment or torture to other living beings (insects, animals, other kids). Left unchecked, and with little modeling or introduction of empathy, that dark curiosity can grow in its host, until war passes for a necessary evil, and bullying passes as a rite of passage. These are illusions The Bully Book will shatter.

  4. Barbara Hunter Brown Says:

    Erika, What a wonderful idea for a book. Every day I’m amazed by the barbarians at work in our world. Please add your voice to those who seek to gentle the world. :-) Rock on!

  5. MAC Says:

    You would gain by reading about the pain and harm that psychiatry has caused in America as well as other countries ! Just when people need comforting in this world, more than anything else, their family members let them down and many pushed family members into the psychiatric realm —- some, not knowing what really happens, once a person gets there !!! Terrible tearing down of people’s spirits, not addressing the spiritual issue which is really what is needed vs drugs. Psychiatric power positions placing people in restrictive environments like jail under the guise of ‘helping’ ~~~ telling them it is necessary in order to monitor the taking of those meds AND while informing them that they will need them the rest of their lives (LIE). Big Pharma and $$$$. Medication is NOT the answer. ….only love…. and thus, your book needs to get out and around !! There are books about HSPs now but still many people do not understand sensitive people and have abused sensitives badly !! Victimization has got to go and more people need to know how to encourage, lift-up, encourage each other !!

    • Erika Harris Says:

      Bullying, in all its forms, requires an imbalance of power. And this is certainly present when one isn’t well — either physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Institutions take after the people who lead them. When greed trumps well-being, as is usually the case in big pharma, no one truly wins. Thanks for bringing this closer to my attention, MAC.

      I agree completely. Encouragement and love are two of the most powerful healers of all-time.

  6. Sadie Says:

    Im all for Empathy! this book will do the World Good! Go girl!

  7. Grace Kerina Says:

    Hey, Erika! This is exciting news indeed. I’ve been privileged to witness you thinking and speaking and presenting in action and had trouble keeping my mouth closed as the revelations and wide-ranging tie-ins keep coming.

    This is an excellent topic and take on the topic for you to tackle Erika. I’m excited to know it’s coming.

    Have fun … and thank you,

  8. Q Says:

    Incredibly wonderful to find someone examining this obvious yet culturally avoided topic. This is the kind of reflection that is necessary to remind us of an alternate way; constant self-aggrandizing & ruthless competition is becoming erosive to society and does not allow innovation to thrive. I am humbled and grateful to know vital information like this can still be found and shared. This will be the one of the focus materials best enjoyed by my art collective, I am sure.
    Thanks for giving!

    • Erika Harris Says:

      “obvious yet culturally avoided topic.” Well said, Q! Thanks very much for joining me in the cultural convo. I’d love to learn more about your art collective, too!

  9. Alissa Pashko Says:

    What a wonderful topic to address! People of all ages will benefit from contemplating those kinds of questions. The time is right for your book and you are the perfect conduit to help us embrace empathy. Thank you Erika.
    Much love, Alissa

  10. Nancy Grayson Says:

    The office that I have been working at for three years is dominated by 6 bullies – a shocking number for an office of just 24 people, most have been there for 30 years. People actually shout at each other using foul language and give “dirty” looks meant to intimidate. Passive aggressive harassment is common place. The disrespect towards women is appalling, including condescending comments, account theft and professional sabotage while a bully of a manager looks the other way.

    One manager has been “punishing” one of his female employees with substandard pay – below the lowest threshold for her pay grade for many years, and no it’s not what you think. She stood up to him once and has been paying for it ever since. There is so much more to tell. To my knowledge no one, not one had called HR in all these years because they are too afraid. Except me and one of my co-workers after 2 1/2 years of “taking the high road” with no results. If this was a movie, this is the part when people would actually clap and cheer out loud. The results were moderately effective, it’s a start.

    Last week before this article came out I decided that the next time I hear out of control shouting I am calling the police and then calling HR. I have prominently posted in my cube a company Code of Conduct regarding abusive behavior along with the definition of violence and the quote by Einstein. I will not stand by and watch. I will continue to speak the truth regardless of consequence.

    If you think this is uncommon, just Google “bullying in the workplace”. You will get 8,100,000 results.

    My son has special needs. When he was in school he was bullied to the point that he told me that he wanted to die. The school principal denied that bullying happened in her school. The state refused to investigate even when there were reliable witnesses to a physical assault who came forward. No action was taken. Let me repeat that. No action was taken. Need I say more?

    Do I think it is time for a book that addresses this subject, especially one that is destined to be brilliantly written by Erika Harris? No, it is not time. It is way, way past time and Erika Harris is the next bestselling author to bring this timely subject into the Light and Love of day.

    • Erika Harris Says:

      Oh wow, Nancy. I applaud your courage to speak forth so clearly and openly about what you’ve faced at work, and what your son has faced at school. Your conviction is inspiring! Thanks and respect, I send you. As well as a couple relevant resources that came to mind:

      * Daniel Goleman talking with Harvard Business about Social Intelligence and Leadership: http://youtu.be/7Qv0o1oh9f4 and

      * Edwin Rutsch’s fantastic Empathy In the Workplace Magazine: http://www.scoop.it/t/empathy-in-the-workplace

      Your office is fortuned to have a revolutionary like you to make a stand for civility and dignity. Bless your lion heart.

  11. Robin Says:

    Very excited to read more and expand my vision for a gentler n kinder future!

  12. Jacquelyn Strickland Says:

    Greetings dear, lovely, powerful Erika !
    To paraphrase Nancy Grayson’s comments above: “The voice and words of Erika Harris need to be heard … her love, her light, her power …. is already shining brightly in those of us who are privileged to know her…. and now ….I think it’s fair to say we are all : “Just waitin for the world to change” inspired by the words and voice of Erika Harris ! Love and light to you, Jacquelyn

    • Erika Harris Says:

      Jacquelyn, like Nancy, your steady encouragement these past couple years has been wind beneath my wings. Thank you so very, very much. Can’t wait to assist with the birth of YOUR much needed book ;-) Love you.

  13. PJackson Says:

    As an educator, I have noted how our young people struggle with most aspects of interpersonal relationships. I think it is important for students, parents and school districts to have a different perspective on how to address a prevalent and growing concern. I wish you much success! Dr. Jackson

  14. Cezarina Trone Says:

    Erika, the world is indeed savoring your gift of writing this book and of Self-expression as I AM…

  15. Jillian J. Davis Says:

    Erika is just about the most original thinker on SENSITIVITY and what it means for all of us, that I’ve met in two years of conducting my own business and attending conferences.

    What is so compelling about Erika (other than that she is completely Genuine and person-to-person) is that her movement is so simple, but so OVERLOOKED.

    I knew nothing about HSP, Elaine Aron, or work with Sensitives until I met her. Now, I feel educated. Her efforts have advanced mine.

    Additionally, Erika is a supremely gifted listener, healer, and empath. I regularly look her up to see what she’s up to because she’s ORIGINAL. I learn from her. I look up to her. I expect to be guided by her.

    I don’t think, I KNOW that Hay House should consider Erika’s book submission most carefully, as well as see the kind of influence she has built in Chicago. How many authors have built a true tribe that meets regularly and is building community and change in a great metropolitan area? I suspect some authors have not made these kinds of footprints – yet.

    I have become aware of several potential Hay House authors, but none which move me to write immediately as Erika. I spent just two days with Ms. Harris, but will follow her for life.

    Warmly, and with incredible endorsement of the woman, the movement, and the humanity of the book,

    Jillian J. Davis

    • Erika Harris Says:

      Jillian! Wow. And thank you! Your comment is a rich gift to my soul. I’m humbled, and I heartily return admiration for your growing body of work… which is every bit as stunning as you.

      Much love,

  16. Petu Says:

    Erika, thanks for building a sweeter world ! This book will give the opportunity to many people to make a better world.



  17. Eunice Harris Says:

    Someone said that, “Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.” It is a gift to the world that Erika is working to elevate us to being truly ‘human’, while restoring ‘kindness’ back to Man ‘kind’. I am grateful to Erika for relentlessly forging the path that she was born to blaze! May Hay House — in its wisdom — blaze this path with her!

    Eunice Harris

  18. Dr. Lori Grifo, Psy.D. Says:

    Working as a clinical psychologist, I am often faced with the heartbreaking aftermath of bullying. I cannot tell you how often I am sitting opposite a 35, 50, or 75 year old adult still affected by the cruelty, (beatings, humiliations, intimidations), inflicted upon them in grade school. The affects are deeply damaging to any human being and should not be minimized.

    • Erika Harris Says:

      Thanks for sharing such valuable insight, Lori. Hopefully we’ll pre-empt some of that emotional damage. Sending gratitude for your healing work in the world.

  19. Erika Harris Says:

    Interesting: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1373036/Kate-Middleton-bullied-30k-girls-school-skinny-meek.html

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    Free info like this is an apple from the tree of kngweldoe. Sinful?

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