You know the cliche: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”
I wouldn’t repeat it here unless I thought I could share a new way to use to that old expression.
Earlier this week I had a “commitment.” It was a weekly activity I used to look forward to. I mean, this weekly thing had me excited, and reaching and preparing myself to be there. Then… slowly… after about a year and a half of showing up steadily… my enthusiasm started turning into something different.
Dread. Razzle was now resistance. Fresh was now funk.
But it took me awhile to understand what was happening. I was confusing the relationships (which I greatly value) that came from the weekly thing with the repetitive function of the weekly thing (which, by the way, is not Church… even though it really sounds like it could be. I did go through a Church Twist, too, but that’s another post.)
The relationships and the recurring thing have actually — and beautifully — grown independent of each other. And because of that, I get to keep the cherished people, and release the rote replay that had lost a lot of its meaning and vitality for me. Yay for solutions that feel good and truthful and aligned!
Enthusiasm is a huge clue for me. I want relationships and activities that strengthen my sense of aliveness, not detract from it.
Dread is an indicator that lifelessness is near.
Take out the “r” and… Yeah. Exactly.
So, about that twist. Here it is: “If you dread something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”
How’s that? Refreshing? It sure lifted my heaviness earlier this week! :-)
Q4U: What is a routine, tradition or custom that you have outgrown? How did you know it was time for you to move on?